“Life begins when the kids leave home and the dog dies.” 

            An oft-cited 1960s sociological study revealed a telling insight into the second half of life.  The finding?  Couples report their highest levels of marriage satisfaction and happiness before they have children, and after the kids leave home.

            Free to travel, free to stay in bed all day, free to give vent to spur-of-the-moment whims, empty-nester couples in their 50s and 60s find themselves amazingly unshackled.

            A corollary to that best-of-all-worlds is grand-parenting.  To be able to shower those little ones with love and affection and toys—and then kiss them good-bye and send them off to Mom and Dad when your battery runs down—now, THAT’S the way to have fun with kids.

            Who wouldn’t choose grand-parenting over parenting?

            Given the current “longevity revolution” in which Americans have experienced an increase in average life spans of two-and-a-half years per decade since 1880, many of us will not only experience being grandparents; but great- and great-great grand-parenting as well.  For second-halfers, we’re going to have lots of kids names to keep straight. Those will are fun problems to have!

            If you are a grand-parent who loves to travel, let me suggest several time-tested hints for successful vacations with your grand-kids:

• One at a time:  A friend gave me this tip.  He observed that kids easily lose focus.  Vacations with siblings too often turn into constant bickering.  To build a life-long loving relationship, my friends take a different, single grandchild on a trip every year.  At the end of the vacation, that child knows grandma and grandpa in a very special and very personal way.
• Keep trips short.  Don’t expect any child under 12 to stay happily seated—in a car or a plane—for much more than two hours a day.  Little ones have way too much energy—and curiosity.
• Keep it simple.  A child will have far more fun discovering the things lying on a beach than the things on the wall at MOMA or the Norton-Simon Museum.  For most kids, the best things—and the memories—truly are free.  A marshmellow roasted over an open fire wins every time over a lecture about rock formations by the park ranger.
• Keep it casual.  If the goal of your inter-generational vacation is to build a lasting, loving bond, leave all thoughts of dressing up, or sit-down dinners with adult guests, or of renting fancy condos back on Mercer Island.
• Don’t do Disney under six.  Disney-places are a recipe for tears for tots that can’t filter out these hyper-stimulating parks.  Too much walking, too many lines, too many people, and to make matters worse, youngsters under six won’t remember it, even if you have a great time.  Which you won’t.  For older kids, Disney works.
• The Home-Base Rule:  Resist the temptation of complicated, different-city-every-nite road trips.  Children prefer security and familiarity to any Grand Tour.  Driving vacations that include three National Parks and seven different motels quickly become nightmares for all parties.  Better to rent a cabin near Mt. Rainier for three nights and plan short day-trips from there.
• Active is more fun than passive:   Does your 8-year-old granddaughter love tennis?  Don’t assume she’ll also love a week of watching the pros at Palm Springs next March.  Kids prefer playing their passions to watching.  If baseball is life to your 10-year old, playing catch or pitching batting practice (and picking up the balls together) brings you closer than sitting in the stands at Spring Training.
• Do art:   If the goal of an inter-generational vacation is truly centered on building a loving bond with your grandchild, actively plan to shut out all things electronic, packaged, commercial, competitive, or fast.    Going to the beach?  Taking a hike in the woods?  Planning an hour of fishing?  Take along color pens, cheap water colors and brushes, and drawing pad or board.  Give encouragement.  Model art by doing your own drawings or watercolors along with your grandchild.  Teach patience and laugh at your mistakes.
• Shopping is a no-no:  If you cannot picture a fun vacation with your grandchild without stopping at a shopping mall or souvenir stand—don’t go.    Hint:  as you plan this vacation with your little traveler, talk about your expectations toward money and buying things.  Get firm agreement, then stick to it.  And remember, there is no longer a museum or zoo in the world that does not have a gift shop.  So deal with it…up front.
• Food for thought:    Children prefer less food eaten more often.  If you are on the road, its’ a nice break to buy an apple, grapes, bananas, or peaches.  Grocery stores—or better, fruit stands—are as plentiful as burger joints.  Then definitely buy locally-grown produce and food items.  One final food hint:  carry an emergency thermos of warm chocolate milk.  Hot chocolate always brings smiles to travelers of any age.
• The Rubber Boot Rule:  Wherever you go, grandparents and grand kids should pack rubber boats, sweatpants, sweatshirts, and rain slickers.  Beaches, farms, forests, and mountains are all homes to surprise rain storms.  Turn downpours into one more adventure.
• Photos insure memories:   Children will remember past trips far more vividly when they experience periodic reminders captured on film.  In fact, making a follow-up photo history of the trip with your grandchild might be the frosting on the cake.